Total Pageviews

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Introduction to Ethics – Philosophy of Life


  Here I am once again in a philosophy course, being forced into determining the meaning of life and my place in it. This is my first submission to the class concerning my philosophy on ethics, both personally and professionally, my ideals on politics, spirituality, and education, and the philosophies of two different philosophers concerning these issues. I hope you enjoy! :-)

Introduction to Ethics – Philosophy of Life
Melissa Marie
Colorado Technical University Online
Professor Siamak Pouraryan
Ethics: The Hallmark of Leaders at All Levels
PHIL320-1103B-09
August 22, 2011


Abstract

  Why are we here? What is my purpose? Am I supposed to be doing something great with my life? It has helped me to read the philosophies of others when considering my own. I will share the philosophies of Benedict de Spinoza and John Dewey. Spinoza, Dewey, I, and most anyone else philosophizes about life, their faith, and the issues related to either. Not any one person has all the right answers and not any one person is entirely wrong. I don’t believe that knowing ‘why we are here’ and ‘what our purpose is’ is necessarily the point of asking those questions. We are all here to be doing something, whether it will be great is yet unknown.


Introduction to Ethics – Philosophy of Life

  Why are we here? What is my purpose? Am I supposed to be doing something great (or greater) with my life? These are all questions posed to us within the task description for this assignment. These questions have been given a significant amount of consideration at different stages in my life and at each stage my answers change. It has helped me to read the philosophies of others when considering my own. I will share the philosophies of Benedict de Spinoza and John Dewey. I will compare and contrast the philosophies of both writers with one another and with my own philosophies of life. Their philosophies will in no doubt benefit my ideals and actions in the future. I will share how they will benefit me in both my personal and professional life.

Benedict de Spinoza and John Dewey

  In my search to put in words what I feel is a good representation for the beliefs and philosophies I hold for myself and life in general, I found the two that best represented those ideals to be Benedict de Spinoza and John Dewey. The two were very similar in their philosophies and had many overlapping ideas and theories, but each was an individual and had their own take on life as it was presented to them by the people that had an effect on them and in the individual experiences they had on their life’s journey.

Spinoza

  According to the Britannica Biographies information on Spinoza (2010), his Portuguese parents were among many Jews who were forced to become Christian. Even though they were labeled as Christian, they privately practiced their chosen faith of Judaism and were eventually arrested, tortured, and condemned. They fled Portugal to become a part of a community of Jewish people in Amsterdam that had also fled from various locations to escape persecution. In his early adulthood, Spinoza met many young men with many different religious backgrounds and became lifelong friends with some of them. With this history, along with the death of this mother before age six, its no wonder Spinoza became a philosopher known for questioning religion in ways no other had yet done. He began to question the historical accuracy of the Bible and came to write a book titled Prae-Adamitae, which means Men Before Adam in Latin. This book discusses the idea that for there to be such a widespread of humans all over the world, there must have been humans before Adam and Eve. This and other acts of ‘heresy’ eventually got Spinoza formally excommunicated. He went on to question and theorize about God, the Bible, science, nature, and related topics. His basic conclusions led to a belief that miracles and the supernatural are impossible because they are in violation of the laws of nature. All such miracles or acts of the supernatural must have a ‘rational, scientific explanation’. Despite all of the questions he posed on faith and the Bible, Spinoza did believe in God and felt that God was the cause of everything. He also believed that everyone should treat others as they would want to be treated. Spinoza appears to invest a lot in love and faith and ethics, but not so much in the dogmatic religion that often accompanies it. (Spinoza, Benedict de, 2010)

  Spinoza’s theories about religion and spirituality cross over to his views on politics and society. He felt that people have an innate drive to be a part of a political society. This is a response to their needs and values. The general public has a need to have an authority to rule over them to protect them from the violence and chaos that is present in nature. Religion assists government in that it offers an absolute authority that requires obedience from its followers and eradicates the potential for any rebellion against that authority unless they feel there is reason to fear for their lives. In that case, they will rebel and take their chances within the wilds of nature. Spinoza believed in free will and that there should be no authority figure in control of anyone’s thoughts, speech, or writings unless it interferes with the state. He was a very rational man, an intense philosopher, and felt that the rational and scientific mind can coexist along with a spiritual faith in God. The laws of religion, nature, and society should be collaborative, not combative. (Spinoza, Benedict de, 2010)

Dewey

   Flanagan (1994) writes that John Dewey grew up as the son of the proprietor of the local general store. That general store was the location for many discussions concerning state and local affairs. It must have been those discussions that led him to have such strong philosophies regarding politics and education. Dewey’s educational outlook had two main perspectives; one positive and one negative. On the negative side, he felt that the traditional, desk-bound approach to education was ineffective and would not yeild the results educators should hope for. On the positive side, he felt that regular, day to day life experiences were the true educators. A child could learn all they he or she needed to fulfill their social, economic, cultural, and political needs just be being part of a community. School institutions were meant to be socializing institutions and education was meant to be a social process. Bernstein (1999) writes its best when wrote that there should be a happy medium “between mindless emotionalism and equally mindless conformity.” There should be a balance between creativity/self expression and obedience. If a child is given the drive to learn, teaching a child is no longer a difficult task. The responsibility for learning is now on the child doing the learning and not the educator. The responsibility of the educator is to spark a desire to know within that child and offer the creative environment and social circumstances in which the child will learn. School should prepare a child to learn how to live life now, not necessarily how to live in the future. That will teach itself as the child experiences school as a student of life, experimenting the principles they learn and using their creativity as an approach to learning. Basically, the idea is to teach a child to think and to want to learn. The information learned becomes a secondary priority that pretty much takes care of itself if the other teaching methods are successful. (Flanagan, 1994)

   Hookway (2010) writes that John Dewey was one of the most important of the ‘classical pragmatists’. He also states that pragmatism works as a mediator between those that adhere to scientific facts and those that prefer to aspire within their religious or romantic values. This allows an existence in which science, morality, and religion can co-exist without competing with one another. Pragmatic method requires that logic and ethics are used in scientific study. It also requires that each and everyone of us can legitimize our different beliefs or methods, because any number of our beliefs or methods could turn out to be flawed. To get along as a society we must all be able to differentiate the difference between knowledge and opinion and between fact and faith. Doing otherwise would be unethical and be a waste of precious time. (Hookway, 2010)

  Dewey believed in true democracy and true equality amongst everyone. According to  George and Clarence (2010), his philosophy was to experience “democracy as a way of life.” Dewey considered democracy as an “active process of social planning and collective action” which effect all areas of life. He felt that democracy should be a source of moral values that would guide social institutions that promote the personal growth of all individuals within humanity. He seemed to have envisioned social institutions, like government, to be more philanthropic and less authoritative. With a democracy there would always be room for improvement, as everyone involved would be fallible and have need for revision and correction. A democracy would involve an equal collaboration to address the common problems of the society. It would involve each person to think and act with “social intelligence.” (George & Clarence, 2010)

Comparison and Contrast 

of Spinoza and Dewey

  Both Spinoza and Dewey had life experiences that drove them to question what they had been taught by society to be the correct ways to think and be. Spinoza was subject to religious persecution and the death of a parent. Dewey was surrounded by free thinkers discussing their differing perspectives on common subjects and went on to attend multiple universities to earn his Ph.D. and eventually become the Head of the Department of Philosophy, Psychology, and Pedagogy at one of them, according to Flanagan (1994). Even though Dewey grew up with a much more pleasant background, he was still able to think with the same level of depth Spinoza presented with. Some may feel that to have such a wide perspective on life and its philosophies, we must all suffer. I don’t feel that is so. Each of us merely needs to be given the opportunity to shine. For some, that opportunity is dire life experiences and the drive to survive. For others, being given the opportunity to think freely, be creative, and live with consistency and love is plenty to instill that drive to see, feel, experience, and be more.

Comparison and Contrast of My Philosophies 

to that of Spinoza and Dewey

Religion

  Both Spinoza and Dewey had a need to learn the truth behind everything. They believed that proven fact should rise above all theory and this applied to all facets of life; religion, politics, education, and any other common issue shared amongst those belonging to a society of people. Each felt that we should all be able to get along as individuals that adhere to scientific fact, have a love and respect for all things natural, and are inspired by religious, romantic, and spiritual faith.  Spinoza questioned the Biblical views that both got his parents persecuted and him eventually excommunicated. Dewey was a leader in the pragmatist method and implored people to find ways of legitimizing each other’s differences, because in fact, everyone feels that they are the correct faith or ideal and, in theory, any number of us that believe we are correct can actually be wrong!

  I love this philosophy of faith and life. It allows each of us to love each other as Earthlings on a journey on the same Earth as one another, but grant each other the acceptance of being individuals with different experiences that lead us to believe as we do. Each of us has an effect on each other that helps us all grow and prosper. We are here to love and care for one another and to care for our home, Earth, while doing so. It’s our intentions that matter more than our beliefs. If our intentions are good, no matter how bad we fail, good prevails.

Politics

  No matter how much we try to keep matters of the state separate from matters of faith, it is impossible to do so entirely. People in authority and people within a political society will always have their decisions motivated by their belief structure. Spinoza felt that we all have an innate drive to be governed and we live as a community to meet both our safety needs and our social needs. The only thing that makes anyone do any differently is if they feel that society brings them more potential violence than fighting existence alone would. Dewey was a big supporter of a true democracy both in government and as a way of life. Government is supposed to be an institution created to benefit humanity. It is a way to collaborate about views on common issues and correct problems as they arise. In a true democracy, morals would be the guiding force, not financial gain.

  Once again, I agree with these philosophies. As I experience what our government is like today, I feel that we are so far from their idea of democracy that we shouldn’t even use that label when describing our political system. Our democracy seems more like an authoritative system with the guise of democracy. Our electoral system is a production to fool those that need to be guided into believing they have a true power over decisions made. We should all be a deciding factor, not just a means to vote for someone who votes for someone that actually makes all the decisions for everyone. No doubt, our country is much more free than most, if not all, others, but to me that is no excuse for being as we are. We should either strive to be better, even when we are best, or not strive at all.

Education

  While Spinoza doesn’t seem to have written much on his philosophies of education, by reading his philosophies in other areas I would have to believe that his philosophies near those of Dewey’s. Spinoza’s early inquiry about the facts behind the histories presented to him in the Bible is proof that he believed in free will and free thought. His avoidance of religious dogma would also be evidence that he would be opposed to the traditional school settings of modern day. Dewey’s philosophies on education were much more prevalent in my research. Dewey believed in a more organic type of learning experience. Children should be given opportunities in life to learn and be free to explore their desire for truth and knowledge. Children shouldn’t feel trapped by an institution and force-fed information. Schools are meant to teach social skills and a minimum level of obedience. Life in itself should be more than adequate in proving the knowledge a child needs to learn. Children merely need a seasoned guide to assist them through it.

  If I were to describe my philosophy of education, it would be Dewey’s ideals verbatim. I have two children, one of them is almost three years old and the other is almost six years old and autistic. I am seeing the effects the modern educational system is having on youths all around me. I see it in the young adults taking over political positions, managerial positions, pastoral positions, and so on. Most seem to lack the basic social skills and life survival skill they should be taught before adulthood. People in service industries don’t make eye contact. We no longer have government officials. We have politicians. In my opinion, schools should teach children how to get along, not how to overlook bullying. Schools should teach life skills and the desire to learn, instead of forcing children to sit at a desk and stay alert through lecture after lecture then go home to wade through hours of homework. The system is broken. Not enough of those in power feel as I do, so as a mother and a student of life, it is my responsibility to make the appropriate decisions for my children. If I cannot find what I feel to be an appropriate institution for my children to prosper and learn within, they will be taught by me in the school of life and home. I will prepare my children to love life, love learning, always seek truth, be accepting of others, have a sense of pride in our differences, have a true concern for our Earth and all of its Earthlings, and, of course, always have faith, love, and hope!

Beneficial Contributions 

of Spinoza and Dewey to My Future

Personally

  Personally, the philosophies of Spinoza and Dewey have already had beneficial contributions to my life. My philosophy includes a responsibility to the planet and to all of the planet’s inhabitants. My philosophy includes keeping a faith in the spirit that resides in all living things and that gives way to the free thought and free will of humanity. I celebrate our differences and understand that tolerance is merely a stepping stone to acceptance. Things do not get better overnight. I may not even get to see the best humanity will be, but I get the opportunity to be a part of it and to help it along while I am here. Who knows what happens when we leave here; only those that have already left. Until that moment I join them, I will choose to focus more on what is now and not was is potentially to happen later. I will look forward only far enough to keep hope and faith and love in the present. I owe much of that philosophy to these two men and their pioneering life philosophies.

Professionally

  As a professional, I believe that it is necessary to be employed in an institution that is best aligned with my philosophies. I want to be doing what I love and helping humanity and the Earth while I do it. I want to be surrounded by others with a common goal, but perhaps, a different perspective and spin on things to contribute. I feel that a profession should support a family, not act as an adversary to it. So, if I am employed, it will be in an organization that shares this philosophy. I will not sacrifice my family to make financial gains for myself or anyone else. Both Dewey and Spinoza witnessed living life while ensuring the life continues. With Dewey’s father working with the general store while having real life discussions with its patrons and Spinoza witnessing his parents continue to practice the beliefs they had while trying to survive being tortured by the intolerance authorities in Portugal, each knew that no matter what road they took they had to keep their true faith and search out the truths related to life and their faith to be joyous in life. I, too, believe this and will use this to keep true to myself when others have authority over me and my faith in myself and my ideals is put to the test.

Conclusion

  Spinoza, Dewey, I, and most anyone else philosophizes about life, their faith, and the issues related to either. Not any one person has all the right answers and not any one person is entirely wrong. I don’t believe that knowing ‘why we are here’ and ‘what our purpose is’ is necessarily the point of asking those questions. We are all here to be doing something, whether it will be great or greater is yet unknown. Just having the desire to ask ourselves those questions implies we feel that we should have purpose and attempt to achieve some level of greatness. Both the phrases ‘having purpose’ and ‘achieving greatness’ are subjective and mean something entirely different to everyone. The only person that can ever answer those questions is the individual being questioned, but they will not be able to answer this question until it doesn’t matter to them anymore. The greatest achievement is acceptance of what is true in reality without feeling a desire to change any of it in any way. Anyone that achieves that is done here and can move onto the place or plane of existence in which all the answers lie. In the meantime, we will fill our existence with knowledge and debate and fulfill our desire to want to know all the answers; hopefully gaining some experience, wisdom, connection, love, and faith along the way.


References

Spinoza, Benedict de. (2010). Britannica Biographies, 1.
Bernstein, A. (1999, December 9). Our Schools vs. Our Children's Minds. Retrieved from Ayn Rand Center for Individual Rights: http://www.aynrand.org/site/News2?page=NewsArticle&id=5370
Flanagan, M. (1994). A Brief Background to John Dewey. Mary Immaculate College, Education Department. University of Limerick: http://www.admin.mtu.edu/ctlfd/Ed%20Psych%20Readings/dewey.pdf.
George, D., & Clarence, H. F. (2010). Dewey, John. Britannica Biographies, 1.
Hookway, C. (2010). Pragmatism. (E. N. Zalta, Ed.) The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, http://plato.stanford.edu/archives/spr2010/entries/pragmatism/.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Am I a Mother or an Autism Mother

It has been suggested to me recently to stop talking about some of the more embarrassing issues my son has in such a public manner. I was told that I owe him a greater legacy than posting about his poop play/ingestion because he doesn't have a voice to disagree. I'd like to assure everyone that even though he is MOSTLY non-verbal, he DOES have a voice and he knows how to use it when he finds it important enough to do so. Aidan tells him mommy "no, no" quite often. He tells his sister too. Aidan's voice becomes stronger every day and I won't settle on anyone pigeon-holing him to be non-verbal and without a voice his whole life. I will not treat him differently because he is autistic. I am a parent of TWO whole children. One of them has autism, the other does not. Each of them has different needs at different times and I address them and parent them as needed on a situational basis just like any other parent. Aside from those situational differences, BOTH of my children will be equally loved, cared for, joked with, and EMBARRASSED; just as each of us has been by our parents and as each of us try to do for our kids. How can I teach my kids about tolerance and equality and how to work hard through their difficulties if I give concessions for their difficulties based on a label of "autism". I am not parenting autism, I am parenting children. I am not an autistic mother, I am a mother. 

My mother made fun of me and told lots of stories about how I played with my poop like a little "artist". It embarrassed me, but it didn't kill me.. and perhaps it even helped me develop important qualities like the HUMILITY to be able to take being made fun of at times and the ability to make fun of my self and UNDERSTANDING of the fact that no matter how different we all are we all started out as babies pooping ourselves and SOMETIMES even playing and eating our poop. I want to give my kids the same opportunity to learn the same lessons. AND.. as a parent; this is one of the few issues I get to share with parents that have "neuro-typical" children. 

My facebook is viewable only to friends.. and some friends of friends.. not to everyone in the whole world. I didn't post my issues in the newspaper. I didn't exclaim them over the tv or the radio. I put them on facebook; a social network filled with my friends, so my friends can know what's going on with me and my family. I also have a blog, but still doesn't get read by all of humanity; only my "6 followers" and other people with similar issues that may just benefit from relating to me when they have a hard time relating to other parents; like I do. This is one of the big things that happens in this family..if you can't hang I understand, but PLEASE stop judging how I parent and stop criticizing what you can't possibly understand. This is how I parent. I LOVE how I parent. It's not always perfect, but its the best I can offer my kids. Anyone that thinks thats not enough can take off. That's that. :-p

Monday, January 24, 2011

My Birthday Wish List

SO.. today is my birthday.. I turn.. hruphblahdety... and of course, I've gotten lots of well wishes and have a great days and happy birthdays.. I LOVE the attention, but I never quite know how to respond. I am an honest person to a fault and things are not very positive much of the time right now. SO.. I feel compelled to say that instead of an automatic "Everything is great, your great, I'm great.. great, great, GREAT!" As a birthday present to myself, I am compiling a list of things I REALLY want, that no one can REALLY give me.. just to get it out.

1. My son not to have autism
2. My son not to have digestive problems
3. My kids to have friends to play with
4. Friends of my own near by
5. Family near by that could help when I needed
6. Enough money to eat
7. Enough money to get my kids what they need
8. Insurance that covered all that my kids need
9. An easy button that made everything all done and silent sometimes
10. New wardrobe that fits and is in style
11. Hair cut with current styling
12. New house that wasn't a POS
13. New car that held all that we need it to
14. A service dog for Aidan
15. A nap
16. A real bathtub.. without an overflow thingy.. that was deep enough to cover my whole body with water
17. A vacation out of this country
18. A day trip to an aquarium or a rain forest or anywhere not here..
19. Enough money to pay my bills
20. Not to feel anxious or depressed over not having some of the things above this number..

Thursday, January 20, 2011

So much to do.. so little me to do it all!

This month has been filled with so much to do. It has also been filled with so much sleep deprivation. 


I have successfully chosen an online school to get my bachelor's at AND have done the FAFSA. Now onto the next step.. steps.. yep.. steps; give them money, transcripts, and my signature;
find time to study and acquire what is necessary to be successful this time around. Last time I attempted going to school online I FAILED; not enough time or sleep and way too much stress. It was back when Mike and I first split and there was so much anger, resentment, yelling, and all over awfulness. Of course, there was also the regular life stress and sleep deprivation. They want me to start February 13th; hopefully I'm ready. I've already deferred my loans from the associates I can't use.. and I can't afford to pay them yet; so bachelor's program here I come! 

I have successfully had yet another amazingly alienating mommy experience taking Aidan through the mall. When you talk to me freely, then see my son act like he does; then suddenly stop talking to me... I kinda gather you don't want anything to do with a mom with an autistic son. This happens all the time; and people ask why I don't try to make friends anymore. I am amazingly much better at dealing with this. When he first got diagnosed I would get really upset over it. I suppose it's hard for others to wrap their heads around. They probably don't want to think about my son's disability. It might make them consider if their kids were disabled; too many bubbles to burst. I bet it's painful for them too; maybe?


I have successfully over budgeted our finances.. I wasn't on top of the ole bank register and relied on the online balance shown. Apparently, it took weeks for a couple things to show up on the account and I forgot them.. NOW to magically figure out how to REALLY shit money. sheesh!





I have successfully made my first batch of homemade sauer kraut. WOOHOO, HIP HIP HOORAY!! I used Alton Brown's method/recipe from Food Network. SUPER TASTY! I want to learn how to make my own brats/sausage and how to make my own bacon and of course, my own corned beef. :-D


I have started giving Epsom salts baths to the kids. It has helped some. I just need to remember to do them more often. I found out that it isn't really salt at all. It is magnesium sulfate and has plenty of benefits and uses apparently. 



We have been given a dryer to use. The neighbors are moving and their new place comes with TWO dryers, so they are giving theirs to us. WOOHOO! NO MORE HANGING UP LAUNDRY EVERY DAY!! Which is good, because I don't think I could have mustered doing it one more time!


I have also successfully maintained some semblance of human status while being stressed out and sleep deprived. Went to lay down with Aidan at bedtime at 930pm, left Aidan's room around 1030pm, went to bed around 11pm, got up to yelling and light flickering at 2am, went back to bed around 4am, AND back up for the day at 6am; woken by my yelling/flickering human child alarm clock!; which is why I am here being all bloggy. This is the normal sleep pattern for me last winter AND over the past few days. 
AND about the flickering; I'm not sure how much longer I can endure the flashing lights. OFF, ON, OFF, ON, OFF, ON. for days! Nothing stops it; not cuddles, playing, redirection, stern reprimand, time out, NOTHING! He keeps adjusting the thermostats too. Oh well, MY house will soon have all switches on LOCK DOWN. I guess. This place is starting to look a lot like a prison. 


I am BOUND to be productive and pleasant today... 








Saturday, January 8, 2011

The cut-throat game of social broadcasting

The cut-throat game of social broadcasting
Recently, I have been receiving some negative feedback about posting on social websites about subjects of a questionable appropriateness. Apparently, some feel that it's NOT okay to joke about female related topics like menstruation. Many people have also mentioned to me that it's not appropriate to tell funny stories about my children's feces. I understand that each person has their own set standard of living and doesn't like to step beyond that comfort zone. I no longer get the luxury of having a comfort zone. I have had no choice but to find humor in being a mom, a woman, and a human; with all of its good times, bad times, and disgustingly awful times. We poop, we pee, we sleep, we eat, we bleed, we cry, we laugh, we excel sometimes, and sometimes we SUCK BIG TIME. I know for certain that we all also can agree that we will never satisfy everyone at the same time. We may never satisfy some people any of the time! I find it amusing that words can cause so much anguish in people. I write about my life... that's all it is. If it aggravates anyone or offends anyone, perhaps my life isn't for that person to read. That's fine.. I find that I don't really feel comfortable in it most days either. hehe.


There are so many topics of conversation that people can't handle talking about; religion, sex, politics, violence, anger, disabilities, depression, death, mental health problems, bodily fluids and solids, poverty, digestion and indigestion, money, atypical challenges, devastation. These have all been or are a major part of my life in one way or another. To feel uncomfortable or offended in of any of those things.. is to feel some discomfort or offense taken by my life. I will NOT be defensive about it anymore. I won't make excuses. I won't apologize. I will try not to take offense of it either, though. I know that words is words and peoples... is peoples. :-)

Shit Storms in MY Living Room

Shit Storms in MY Living Room... when poo takes flight
The evening after the Fred Meyer fiasco, I go to change the kids for bed, and my daughter decides to throw something random at me. It bounces off me... and onto the floor. Its dark in the room, because it helps the kids prepare to sleep when the lights are all turned down a certain amount of time before getting ready for bed. I can't see what I am picking up very well and I'm confused, as it doesn't look like it could be one of their toys. As I take a closer look... I see that it is a nice firm (thankfully) piece of POOP!! 

Im confused... HOW the HELL did my daughter find a big ole piece of SHIT to THROW AT MEEEEEEE!!!!!!????? idk.. what? omg.. what? <SOB> time for NITE NITES!! Most definitely. sheesh! 
OK, so she wasn't throwing it AT me. As much as one would feel that was the case if shit came at one's face. I think she was trying to throw it TO me, but once again; how can I interpret shit being thrown TO ME? Surely it was thrown AT ME.. no matter what the intentions were in reality. Thank you, Jasmyn!! It's what Mommy has ALWAYS wanted!! I big ole piece of poop thrown at her! I was in dismay... shock... had NO IDEA how to react to this. I don't even know which it came from. They both had questionable to productive diapers recently. Aidan has been waddling for a while... and she's been making little poo pebbles... THIS poo was substantial, so I assume it's more than she can physically make in one movement...?

I placed my gift in the appropriate receptacle and continued to change the kids, of course, in a stupor of disbelief. Aidan had been constipated for quite some time and had remnants of what could have been a misplaced piece of crap in his diaper. The only thing I could think to do is CONGRATULATE my son for having the poop he couldn't have previously and to congratulate my son for having a solid poopy.. over and over. He may thing I'm nuts now..  IF he didn't before. Honestly, I am still baffled about this and probably will be forever and ever. I MOST DEFINITELY plan to share this story with the kids and ALL their friends in the future! :-D

Friday, January 7, 2011

Stupid Clicking Morons!! :-(

Stupid Clicking Morons... an eventful trip to the grocery store.
Our trip to Fred Meyer started out shitty.. Well for Jasmyn anyway. As soon as I put her in the cart she began trying to get out.. acting like she was in pain. Of course, who wants to sit in a uncomfortable cart with a piece of poo in the way. SO, we head to the bathroom for a change. I haven't actually HAD to change either of the kids in a public bathroom in a very long time, so I knew this would be somewhat eventful. I had NOT anticipated the designer of said bathroom being a complete moron! The changing station, which Jasmyn was NOT ecstatic about in the first place, was placed RIGHT NEXT TO THE FUCKING DOOR! So.. I get bumped into by every peer and their child while battling with my own hovering in an uncomfortable changing station. Most people were gracious and apologetic.. even though they weren't the moron that placed the station where it was. I was astonished to see a few people were actually annoyed with me.. and my screaming daughter.. They can fuck off.. this isn't about them. After the battle.. we continue our shopping excursions. 


Whilst at Fred Meyer, we had a few things to return from presents that Jasmyn had gotten that didn't fit her. We figured that we could get a gift card with the amounts and just go get something else. That's not quite.. how. it works. We got the card.. but it was less than half of the worth that was posted on the receipts.. so we really couldn't get her anything at all. Apparently, they don't give back what was spent.. they give back the LOWEST price within the last 90days? Whatever! 


OK.. so things are tight.. and it's decided that we needed groceries more than more clothes for Jasmyn.. so we go grocery shopping. When we are done.. it's typically easier and faster to do self check out.. it avoids any random button pushing by children ( they are button addicts) and any off handed remarks by other people in line or whatever. WELL.. NOT TODAY!! TODAY.. we get the biggest moron self check out babysitter every hired to do nothing while getting paid!! Jasmyn is severely pissed off at this point. She once again missed her nap. Aidan.. is pretty chill, but giggling like a madman, which typically means he's about DONE with this experience too.. and is getting uncomfortable. 


I am minding my own business and checking myself out.. WHEN the STUPID CLICKING MORON SELF CHECKOUT BABYSITTER (after asking stupid questions.. like why aren't you talking and why are you kicking me to my son) STARTS CLICKING HIS FUCKING PEN ON AIDAN!!?? WTF! Who the hell does that? I would never do that to a relative's kid.. much less a stranger's kid.. and a customer's kid!? I almost came undone! BUT.. I clenched it.. and smiled absurdly and told the idiot.. "PLEASE do NOT do that.. My son is SENSITIVE to things like that". OMG.. I'm not sure what would have went down had Aidan started melting down. I'm fairly certain I would have melted down.. SO.. back to the car.. and back home.. to continue freaking out about our WONDERFUL  shopping experience at Fred Meyer!


(note: this is not typical for Fred Meyer.. most of their workers are considerate and helpful and they carry many specialty things we need for the special diets in our home)

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Mommy Pride

I am SO proud of my son. When we get ready to go to the car.. we do diapers, change into outside clothes, and put on socks, shoes, and coats. All of a sudden, my son can do most of this ALL BY HIMSELF!! He just does it.. and he does it really good.. including the socks, which I can barely get on my feet, hehe!. For anyone that doesn't know, my five year old son, Aidan, is autistic. This is a huge milestone for him. I am absolutely ecstatic about it! All he needs is a little "straightening out" of his clothes when he's all done putting everything on and MAYBE some verbal cues to start any item.. or any other random verbal cue that can help when he gets uninterested or distracted. WOOHOO!. He has also been very verbal. I'm not going to start having "expectations", but my hopes are high and so is my mommy pride.


Jasmyn is doing some pretty amazing things too. She will take off her clothes when I ask her to.. and sometimes when not asked, hehe. She makes sure to give Aidan a hug or kiss after mommy get's one. Jazz has already started directing and calling for Aidan when it's time for him to do things. The other day, when Aidan started getting frustrated and seemed to be crying, Jasmyn started "crying" with him for support!! When she talks, I can now understand about 1/3 of what she says.. most of it is still Babble-onian or Jazzinese. OH, oh, and Jazzy also swung on a swing without Mommy holding her the other day!


Most days I feel like I live in a madhouse, but it seems there is a method to this madness.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! (Didn't I just get to bed?)
Well, Here it is five hours into 2011 and I am already awake. This isn't typically what I want as my wake up time, but I have a sleep problem: my son, Aidan. Alright, he has the sleep issues, but I find that since I get the opportunity to be awake with him; they are also mine. :-p


Aidan usually won't fall asleep until around 11 pm, even if he gets up early and does his routine and is in bed by 9:30 pm. Somedays start like today, at 4 am. Luckily, this isn't everyday; at least not so far this year. So far this year I have been able to sleep until around 7 am or 8 am most days. LAST YEAR.. way different. There were nights we didn't sleep at all. I won't drug my kids up, so we tried melatonin, vitamin D, and sleepy-time teas. Which did work.. sometimes. 


Right now, he is taking laps around the living room with intervals of stopping to put a few megabloks together; finished by dismantling the pieces, throwing them, and continuing the marathon. All I hope is that he can hold this up quietly until he passes out on the couch (unlikely) or until his sister, Jasmyn, wakes up, so I can make more noise by making coffee and breakfast. It's best if she sleeps until closer to 8 am, as she has a MAJOR anger issue when she doesn't get enough sleep. I've heard that's typical for 2 year olds, though. 


Aww, he stopped the super run for a quick hug! I treasure hugs so much. I didn't always get them. Aidan used to be completely lost to me and everyone.. even when he was melting down. Melt downs are different that tantrums. With tantrums, a child is typically looking for some reaction to their anguish with a possible specific outcome they are hoping for in the mean time. That's not the case with a melt down; there is no reassurance, no hopeful out come aside from hoping the meltdown ends.. soon. It can be over anything.. too much noise, a break in routine, a texture issue, not feeling well, sensory overload, just "because". Most of the time I can't really help him get through it and the only way to get him to calm down is to let him have some alone time in his room so he can get it out without so much sensory input. 




My first real Aidan hug was in 2008 while we were going through the Rhododendron park with a friend of mine. My friend took a picture and it is my desktop.. it's the best picture I have. When you have to wait close to 3 years to get a real hug from your child, you treasure it differently than if it came easier.. I think. This has also made me much more aware of what Jasmyn does; like pointing at things. I think I did a dance when she did it for the first time. I was concerned that she would be autistic too, but I am sure that's not an issue anymore. Not that life won't already give her a new, different, and sometimes difficult life to live; having an autistic brother. She's spunky, though, so I think she will have what it takes to be different than the other kids. I call her Jazzy. I think it fits. She belts out in loud, out of tune song and dance all the time. We take turns pretending to be devastated by "something". She says hi to everyone and everything at the grocery store.. and everyone talks to her. I think that shopping probably takes an extra half hour or so just because of her "conversations"! The video below is of the kids enjoying the Elmo Crack they got for the holidays. It starts out mostly mellow, but it's obvious they will need a 12 step program towards the end! :-p




OMG I am TIRED!! Time to do other things. It's taken me close to an hour and a half to write this, hehe. I hope this isn't the start of the 2011 Winter Insomnia Games. I HOPE this is a fluke.. and he goes back to not sleeping until late, but sleeping all night when he gets there. I'll take the compromise.